Invisible Scars

it's not easy
to carry around
invisible scars
they're too heavy
and translucent
they don't get you anywhere
all the effort is your own
and every bit of it
costly

sometimes I
stand in the shower
and imagine
a long line drawn
down the side of me
pale and puckered
unattractive
something significant,
obvious
something anyone could see
if I were wearing
a bathing suit

it always
makes me smile
seems light as floating ashes,
that long line
which must have cut so deeply
taken so very long to close over
anyone could see
that

the line's there, i can feel it
run my hands over it
like a worry doll
like chalking a headstone
but I have to
forcibly call it into being
call it by name
for anyone else to
notice

and if I don't
they'll never know what
weighted unseen burdens
force me to
stoop my shoulders and
tip my head forward
twitch my mouth a little
as I stand in line
at the bank,

just one more woman
with a basket on her head
ghosts of a troubled past
spilling over the side
weaving around her
like traffic