Like A Toothache

You will always be
farther away from me
than my losses

they are like
a tooth in my mouth 
you cannot be closer
to me than that 
than they are

what is lost to me
festers
relentless
ricochets
around my skull
makes ping-pong noises
that drown you out
at every hour 

nothing is close to me
you are all
too far gone 

I spend my days
tonguing my gums
distracted by
the ache inside me
hovering just above the hum
that is
everything else

what was becomes
the absence of what was
becomes
all there is
a tooth that can't be
pulled